I was about 24 years old when I first heard of egg donation.
I was in a darkened movie theater in Manhattan, where I was living at the time, and I saw an advertisement play across the giant screen. I don’t remember the exact words but I recall that the ad made me take pause and wonder if donating my eggs was something I could ever do. The idea of it made me uncomfortable, so I stored the thought away as the theater grew dark, and sunk deeper into my seat in preparation for the film.
I was born in a small town in southwest Louisiana, in the United States, and was raised there and in Texas. I am the second of three children and have an older brother and younger sister. My father works in the oil industry and my mother was a homemaker when I was growing up. Both of my siblings have blessed my parents with grandchildren. I, however, posses a restless and wandering spirit so I made the decision in my 20’s that having children of my own wouldn’t be a part of my future.
In my late twenties I found myself living in London, freshly laid off from my corporate job during the height of the global recession. I had no recourse but to move back to the United States, which is how I ended up in New York again. Still unemployed my financial situation was pretty grim, as is eternally the case in NYC.
I scoured Craigslist every day looking for work and came across an ad for egg donation that claimed to pay donors up to $10,000. I was brought back to that moment in the cinema, and once again wondered if donating was something I could do. However, this time, the idea of a life being created with my help seemed like an incredible gift to give. Getting paid for doing so was a huge bonus, of course. I still had many reservations about the entire process, but I began to seriously consider the possibility.
Not knowing anything about the process and wondering what the risks might be I started doing research, spending massive amounts of time on Google looking up every aspect of egg donation. I found websites quoting statistics about the process having a risk rate as low as 1% – 2% for major complications like pelvic infection, ovarian stimulation, and torsion. These sites also stated, over and over, that egg donation is a relatively new procedure and that no definitive studies have demonstrated a link between donation and infertility, cancer, or any other long-term health issues.
I also found, as one always does on the internet, horror stories from women who had donated and experienced hyper-stimulation, a side effect from the fertility medications that causes them to produce more eggs than intended. Some women had even lost an ovary because of complications. Since most of the cautionary tales seemed to mention lack of proper care by the facility they donated through I knew that it was important for me to find one that was well regarded and took care of their donors.
I found several donor programs online in the New York area and came across one with a well known and highly respected name. The information on their website claimed that they cared greatly about their donors and provided the best care possible to them. There were also a number of quotes from past donors praising the staff and claiming to have had a great experience. Despite having a few misgivings I decided to apply online. I learned that the cutoff age was 32, which I was just a year shy of, and didn’t know if they would even accept me.
Weeks went by and there was no response. I figured that something in the information I supplied disqualified me. Perhaps my age, weight, or height, or any number of other factors. To my surprise about a month later I got an email inviting me to come in for an initial meeting and testing. I accepted and made an appointment.
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My First Donation
I sat in the waiting room feeling like I was interviewing for a job. A little nervous, battling my doubts and insecurities. The moment I met the program coordinator, however, I began to feel comfortable, my anxiety started melting away. She was warm, friendly, and exuded compassion. She gave me an overview of the entire donation process and explained the first two steps would be taking my blood for initial testing and handed me a multiple choice psychological test to complete. She also told me that the process would be completely anonymous and I would receive $8,000 if I donated.
During my next visit I filled out a lot of paperwork, gave more blood for testing, met with a psychologist, genetics counselor, had a full physical and gynecological exam, and pap-smear. I was beginning to understand just how involved this entire process was.
The psychologist asked me what I did for a living, if I was in a stable relationship, and how I felt about donating. She offered her services to me any time during, or after donating. She also explained that I would be required to waive all legal or parental rights to any children born from my donation and wanted to know how I felt about that. There was no hesitation in my mind, my motivation was strictly to help someone else have children. She also told me that since it was deemed unethical to pay for human tissue the eggs were a donation and I would instead be paid for my time and effort.
During my physical exam the doctor asked about my birth mark, scars, and tattoo. Since I had gotten my ink over ten years prior it wasn’t an issue. I later learned that a previous donor was disqualified when a nurse noticed a fresh tattoo on her arm the day prior to the egg retrieval. The story was a bit of a cautionary tale, and illustrated the seriousness and thoroughness of the clinic staff. In fact, in addition to not getting tattoos there were a lot of things I couldn’t do for a month like exercise, drink alcohol, have sex, or take medication or vitamins of any kind.
We also spoke about potential risks, and I found myself asking a lot of the questions that had been on my mind. She was honest and straight forward, reiterating much of the information I had read previously. Side effects were always a possibility, but most of them were highly unlikely.
I never felt pressured by anyone at the facility to donate. The decision was mine, and mine alone, to make. And so I made it. I knew, right after the physical, that I was going to go through with the donation.
The meeting with the Genetics Counselor was brief but interesting. She asked a lot of questions about my family medical history, looking for any kind of genetic disease I might be a carrier of. She explained that the blood they had taken that day would be tested to see if I carried any genetic disease.
Within a few weeks, and after all the testing came back normal, I was matched with a recipient and a start date was selected for the cycle. I felt excitement, tinged with a fair bit of nerves. I would have to give myself injections for up to two weeks and would then have to have a procedure to remove the eggs from my body.
One morning I picked up a big brown paper bag full of fertility drugs, needles, and alcohol swabs from the facility and was given instructions on which ones to needed to be refrigerated. The bag was hefty, and I left wondering what the retail value was of all the medication. I hurried home to get them into my refrigerator. The last thing I wanted to do was mess up the entire cycle because I didn’t store my big bag of drugs and implements properly.
The next two weeks were a but rough. I went to the facility each morning and gave myself injections each evening before bed. At almost every visit a doctor examined my ovaries and the growing follicles that housed the eggs inside them with a vaginal ultrasound. They measured and counted the follicles they could see projected on a screen. They grew bigger and bigger each day. At one point we counted somewhere between fifteen to twenty follicles.
The injections turned out to be easier than I imagined. I wasn’t especially nervous since I had attended a class on how to inject myself properly. Even so, about an hour before the first injection I watched several videos on YouTube to make sure I didn’t screw things up. I had two options, I could inject into my outer thighs or my stomach. I arranged the two medications I had to take that night on the counter of my bathroom, cleaned my thigh with an alcohol swab, pinched the flesh and and in one quick motion jabbed the needle into my skin.
It was surprisingly painless.
I pushed the plunger down and felt a burning sensation, then released the pinched skin, and removed the needle. A few drops of blood beaded up on the surface of my skin. I repeated the process on my other thigh. After a few days small bruises began to blossom on the injection sites so I decided to overcome the nauseating fear and disgust of injecting into my belly. To my surprise it was an even less sensitive area so I started rotating between injection sites each night.
On the ninth morning the doctor told me the follicles were close to being mature and I would probably be instructed to take the “trigger shot” the next day. A trigger shot is an injection of a synthetic hormone that causes the eggs to complete the maturation process and readies them for retrieval.
My afternoon call with instructions from the facility confirmed what the doctor suspected in the morning and that night I gave myself the trigger shot.
Two mornings later I reported to a nearby hospital and was brought to the IVF waiting room where I changed into a hospital gown. A nurse with a blessedly warm bedside manner helped calm the butterflies which were wreaking havoc inside my stomach by explaining everything that would happen that morning. She inserted an IV and drew blood one last time to test my hormone levels. I was then led, wearing nothing but a hospital gown, to the operating room where a team of doctors and nurses were busy prepping for the procedure.
The room was frigid, and my butterflies were starting to dance again. The gown didn’t really cover my backside and I started shivering. The nurse told me to lay on the operating table and covered me in a warm fuzzy blanket. I wanted to hug her for the kind gift but by that time the anesthesiologist was talking to me. She injected antibiotics into my IV, followed by anesthesia. It felt like ice water crawled up my arm and through my veins.
Within a few seconds the room, much like the movie theater where I first learned about egg donations, faded to dark.
I woke up in the IVF waiting room groggy and shaking. But as with every step of the process I was never alone. The nurse who seemed to have ESP came in right as I woke up and asked how I was feeling. I mumbled something about being cold. She smiled and draped another one of her incredibly warm blankets over me. She gave me juice and crackers and checked on me every few minutes. She was my guardian angel that day, and I will forever remember her kind eyes.
When I felt ready to leave the kindly nurse removed the IV and gave me a list of instructions. She repeated the instructions to my friend who was tasked with picking me up from the hospital. We walked out of the sterile room and onto the hectic streets of Manhattan.
I felt tired, a bit sore, and longed for the comfort and warmth of my bed.
The recovery process for the procedure was surprisingly easy and there were no complications. I went back to work the next day and found myself daydreaming about the fact that my eggs were being fertilized for a woman who probably wanted nothing more than to be a mother.
I hoped that her wish would come true… but I will never know.
DONATING TO TRAVEL
I remember my first experience traveling. I was fourteen and it was a class trip to Washington DC. It was the first time I would fly on an airplane, my first time in a major metropolitan city, and my first glimpse of what I wanted out of my life in the future. I fell in love, not so much with Washington DC, but with the idea of travel, of exploring the wide world outside of my little Texas town. I had caught what all travelers refer to as “wanderlust” and from that moment on I would always be infected by it.
About a year after that first donation my life looked a lot different. I was living in Brooklyn and had a well paying job that most people would think I was crazy to not appreciate. But there was a nagging thought in the back of my mind that I didn’t fit into the job like I should. I was longing for something more meaningful to do with my life. I started thinking more and more about traveling.
I had been lucky enough to briefly visit Europe and Canada throughout my twenties, but these were all short trips, the sort of vacations working professionals take with the few weeks a year they have all to themselves. I yearned for more. I traveled vicariously through books like The Motorcycle Diaries, Wanderlust, and Wild hoping that one day I could cut the ties the bound me to corporate America and travel freely.
Shortly afterwards I met Michael. He had just returned from a month of travel in Central America. He told me about his plans to take a year long trip and explained that he didn’t need a lot of money to do so. He traveled with just a backpack, stayed in hostels, and moved from town to town and country to country mostly by bus. I was intrigued, to say the least. This was a totally different form of travel than I was used to, but it resonated deeply within me. After a few months of knowing Michael, and one instance of jumping out of an airplane over Long Island together, he invited me to join him.
I accepted without hesitation. I HAD to make this happen. He was quitting his job, taking his savings, and hitting the road. And I was dead set on doing the same.
We would be leaving in a few short months and a review of my savings account, bills, and income quickly made me realize I needed more money before heading out. So, without much hesitation, I decided to donate eggs again.
I would, once again, help someone make their dreams come true, while doing the same for myself. It wasn’t a decision based around money. This time my donation would help me accomplish that which I had wanted for so long.
The process was similar to the first time but not as much testing was required. Unfortunately, after this donation there were some minor complications. I experienced hyper-stimulation. It was uncomfortable, and a little scary, but the doctors and nurses at the facility monitored me closely, consoled me, and made it a priority to give me the best care possible so I would recover quickly.
And recover I did.
A New Life
Two weeks after donating I was on a plane with Michael headed for Mexico, the first step in what has turned into a seventeen month sojourn throughout Central America, South America, Europe, and Asia. We decided to start this website with the hope that we would inspire others to travel. Just a Pack has led to a new career for both of us. We can now call ourselves published authors and travel bloggers, and have no plans to go back to our lives as they were before we left New York.
I’m writing this article a year and a half after leaving NYC to travel, from a country I never imagined visiting, much less living in for the past two months. I often think about the woman who has given birth to a baby that has my DNA and wonder whether or not that child looks like me. Will it, too, be filled with wanderlust when it grows up? And occasionally I reflect on the sweet symmetry of how helping to bring a new life into this world has given me the ability to create a new life for myself.
This article was first seen in Marie Claire Brazil. The above version has been altered a great deal from the original.
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31 thoughts on “How Donating My Eggs Helped Me Travel the World”
First off, this is so personal you have to be very brave to share it with the world, wow!
You say you’re doing it out of altrouism, but would you do it for free? With no pay off? I know women who did this, for money obviously, so they could travel. These things are driven for $$.
I was in the medical field and I can tell you that donating eggs is a brutality on your body. No money should ever be more important than health no matter what alopathic doctors say.
And then there’s the overpopulated world problem. If couples want to raise kids, why not adopting. I wouldn’t donate eggs not even for 1 million dollars, but I believe in pro- choice and just like the abortion issue, each women should have the freedom to do what she believes is right for her.
Thank you for sharing.
It is a personal story but one worth sharing in my opinion. As for my reasons, the article clearly states why I donated. To answer your question, yes I would donate without compensation under the right circumstances. Regarding my health, I discussed this point in the article too. Having donated multiple times and gone through the process, I’m fully aware of the risks. As for your comment about adoption and overpopulation, if you expect a certain set of people to not give birth to children because the world is overpopulated, you should probably expect that from the entire human race. Not very practical.
Thank you for reading the article!
Would you possibly consider donating eggs again? My husband & I have been married for 16 years & zero natural pregnancies. 6 IUI & 4 IVF failed treatments + tons of money as you can imagine. We live in Texas & donor agencies are radically expensive. If you would consider please reply so we can connect. Thank you very much. I’m convinced there are angels among us & you are definitely 1 of them. Such an inspiration!
wow, this is really interesting! I am glad you were able to talk about this topic openely because this kind of storyr is much better than having to google some theory to it. I don’t know whether I would go through the process but I can see what it meant for you and why you did it. It’s geat to be able to help others but I would be sooo curious about the children 😀
Thank you for reading the article and commenting. I think you bring up a good point, it’s a personal decision and I don’t think anyone should donate if they aren’t completely comfortable with all of the aspects of the process.
Yes, I am curious about the children but am totally fine with not knowing too. 😀
This is an interesting and very personal topic, thanks for sharing it. I had thought about donating when I was in college, to go towards school cost and travel but just never got around to it. I had spoken with family about it and they all remarked that they thought it was weird. I don’t think it’s that weird. You’re helping someone and well hey, you’re getting compensated for it.
Thank you so much for the kind words! There was a time in my life when I too thought donating was a little weird but my perspective has changed a great deal since then. I see us all as being connected to each other, the planet, the universe, and I don’t think giving someone such a small part of me that can make a such a big difference is strange at all.
All I can say is thank you. We were the recipients of donor eggs, and I gave birth to twin girls. I think of our donor every day and thank her in my heart. You did a great thing.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. I was moved to tears when I read it. I have always thought about the women who received my eggs and the children who have been created from the donation in a sort of abstract way. Your words made the outcome of my donation very real to me and made me feel so happy that I was able to help people in a very substantial way.
What an excellent read. Such a personal story that I’m glad you shared as it is quite inspirational. Congratulations on living your dream!
Thank you Taylor! for reading and the kind words! I am fortunate to have had the ability to follow my dreams and help someone at the same time. It’s really the best scenario I can think of.
You are so brave! I’ve thought about doing this and when I started reading this, I thought about it again. But, no matter how hard I try to think about it like you do, helping someone conceive. I just can’t get out of my mind the feeling that part of me, in human form was out there somewhere. And it’s unsettling for me. PLUS , I didn’t realize you have to give yourself injections. That alone scores you extra brave chick points! This is an awesome story!
Thank you Shannon! I appreciate the kind words and thank you for reading the article and commenting.
I am actually considering doing this, so I’m glad that I found your article. Like the folks above stated, it’s such a personal thing and I’m glad you shared it with us. I myself, do not want to have any children.. I don’t see myself having them, you know? Donating my eggs would enable another woman to be a mother though and I think that that is amazing.
Couple of questions.. was there a lot of pain involved? Did you have to pay for any of the doctor appointments, procedures, medicines?
Heather – yes I understand. I don’t want to have children of my own either so I was happy to still be able to help someone fulfill their dream of having a family.
To answer your questions, each donation is different. I was a little sore after my first donation but really didn’t experience that much pain at all. The last time I did have some pain but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle with Tylenol.
Also, I didn’t have to pay for anything. All of the appointments, procedures, and medicine are covered by the facility I donated with. You should never have to pay for anything other than transporting yourself to the facility. I can’t remember if I mentioned this in the article but the facility also bought medical insurance to cover me in the event that anything went wrong and additional treatment was required.
I hope that information is helpful. If you have any questions please feel free to ask or email me through our contact form.
Thanks for sharing your experience! I hadn’t gone searching for information on the topic, but I’m glad I stumbled across your post. It’s a topic/option that’s come up with friends over a glass of wine as we lament over things like student loans and insane rent so I’m glad to have found an insider’s look at the experience.
As far as the payment logistics go, you explained that you’re paid for your time and effort. Does that mean if you did everything right and it just didn’t work that they still pay you? Yours was successful so maybe you wouldn’t know, but assuming they pay you at the end of the whole experience, could the clinic have backed out if your body (with the injections) just wasn’t producing mature eggs?
Hi Anne, I’m glad you found the article to be useful. As far as payments go, at the facility I donated through they pay you for your efforts. This does mean that if your body does not respond and follicles are not maturing they can stop the process and would pay you according to how much time/effort you have devoted. Once you have undergone the retrieval procedure then the full payment is given to the donor regardless of what happens with your eggs afterwards.
If you’re considering doing this, I’d suggest you speak to the facility about their policy in detail.
I hope that information helps but if you have any more questions please let me know.
I loved reading this article! I’ve considered selling my eggs to allow me to travel. How many times have you donated and what was the total compensation? Thanks so much for posting this article! I’ve found this to be truly inspiring and informative!
Thank you for your kind comments and for reading the article. I’m glad it helped. My compensation was $8,000 per donation. The facility that I went through limits donations to 6 times per person and I donated three times total over a few years. Let me know if you have any more questions.
Read it as I was intrigued by the tweet but the article made me empathize. I am seeing many shades of travelers and their experiences but this is a very unique one. Brave of you.
Really enjoyed this piece. Thanks for sharing such a personal story! It’s quite a unique situation but ultimately led you to start the life you lead now…who would have thought? And you ultimately helped someone else find their happiness as well… awesome 🙂
Thank you for reading my story Sally and for the kind words! 🙂
Wow, this is interesting. So thoughtful of you. You have been instrumental in realizing others’ dreams! Great!
Thank you Sandy! 🙂
Hy, very interesting!
I wish I had read this whem I was younger.
Thanks for sharing!
I’m so thankful for this post! I’ve recently signed up to donate my eggs and am fairly scared and nervous about the whole process. This article is very settling and I feel more confident about my decision. Thank you so much for speaking about this!!
Thank you for reading the article. I am really happy that it has helped ease your nervous feelings. If you ever have any questions about the process, please feel free to email me or message us on Facebook.
All the best, Randi
I have also been an egg donor twice and used the money for travel. I also experienced hyper-stimulation during my second donation cycle. I put it down to my body recognising the process and responding more keenly to the 2 week self-injection cycle.
Another similarity is that I had pondered on the donation idea for many years and only took the plunge at the age cut-off point too, which was 36 for the clinic I attended (CRGH, London).
It is wonderful to have stumbled across such a similar experience to mine and I hope your life is all the richer for your donation and travel experiences. Mine definitely is!
Susannah, thank you for taking the time to comment. I really appreciate it and am always happy to hear from other donors who are glad they went through the process. I hope you have a beautiful day!
First off, let me say thank you for sharing your story. I happen to be a recipient. My husband and I went through several failed attempts and needed assistance. In our case, we went through a clinic in Colorado. This week we celebrate my twins 12th birthday. I’ve listed their births on the Donor Sibling Registry. On this site, the donor as the option of connecting with us. As of today, we still haven’t heard from her. We completely respect her decision to stay anonymous. I think of her often and feel blessed that she made the decision that she did. Happy Travels!
Hi Rhonda, it’s great to get your comment! Thank you for sharing your story.
Happy birthday to your twins! 🙂 I sometimes imagine the children born from my donations but never really considered the possibility that twins could exist. Thank you for that realization.
Also, thank you for telling me about the registry. I think at this point I would be probably be open to learning more about the recipients of my donation and their children, so I’ll take a look.
All the best, Randi